Our Ex-Gay Stories
I am a former lesbian, now on fire for God and with a fresh
bright future. I was called of God in my 20's, went to Bible
college, got disillusioned with Christianity, walked away, stumbled
into the gay lifestyle which at first I thrived in and loved. I
immediately flourished, was popular, active..etc...years later, God
spoke to my hear one night in bed and told me he had more, and it
did not include my gay lifestyle. I had the choice to stay in it, or
follow Him.....I followed. "But God, I'm not straight. I have no
interest in men?" "That's not your concern right now, I just want
you to follow me, and withdraw for a little while. Well, that has
been 7 years and my life has been awesome ever since. I am going to
Africa this Nov on a Pastors conference trip with a ministry I am
now an Administrator on, and I am ready and open for marriage. Never
dreamed God could change my preferences...wow...who knew.
As far as the issue of "I was born like this", I heard a Pastor say something that has forever changed my response to that. He said, "When someone comes to me and says I can't change, I was born like this....I tell them, "That's Ok, that's not an issue to me anyway and I won't even debate it, because the bible has the answer for that....John 3:3 says a man must be BORN AGAIN to enter the Kindgom of God...So however you were born, you still must be born again.
That takes the whole debating issue away. You can't fight the natural mind on a subject, but you can give it the word of God.
My own thought from having experienced same sex attraction which may or may not reflect information already available:
There was a very big disconnect in appreciation of the opposite sex for me. I know, that's a "duh" statement, isn't it? HA!
But sometimes the most obvious things are the most profound. It
wasn't until I learned how to appreciate what masculinity brings to
the human race that I began to understand and experience in a more
healthy way, what it means to be human. My friendships with men
became more authentic, even though it didn't lead to marriage for
me. It seems the homosexual agenda is diminishing our cultural
awareness and appreciation of what is uniquely feminine and uniquely
masculine. To loose grasp of the healthy interdependence of male and
female, not only in marriage, but also in society as a whole, must
certainly have serious psychological and other consequences on
future generations! The human race is made up of both!
The spirit of "Vive la difference," is being lost! And I fear we will pay a heavy price!
Thanks so much for your courage and dedication!
I just want you to know that you are appreciated! I thank God for your courage under frequent, venomous fire.
One point, that you've probably seen before: A local Twin Cities
(MN) broadcaster recently interviewed a gay man on his radio show.
The gay was repeating his stand for gay rights because they want
equality, etc. The interviewer shocked some of us when he replied,
in essence, "You can't have the same rights because you're not
equal. You can never be equal. My wife and I can have a baby without
anybody else's involvement; you require at least a third party."
Essential truths can be so simple...
This also reminds me of a lesbian couple I knew before I converted. I was new to the gay lifestyle and they invited me to their home, where one of the women's son was going around naked. I did not feel comfortable and noticed that he was agitated. They later explained to me, that they were teaching him to be comfortable with his body, this meant around strangers too. I knew one of the women from University, and she was applying radical socialism to sexuality.
God help these children
My son was an active duty soldier, he married a young lady & they had a son. He was divorced & remained in the army for a time. Perhaps 2-3 yr ago he confided to me he desired to change his sex, because he was unhappy, depressed & suicidal, & believed he should have been a woman. I have suffered guilt & grieved over this decision. It was tearing me apart inside, I soon realized, it was beyond my control, I had to release it & just pray for him. He decided to leave the army & move to Virginia with his son. He has been pursuing transition by hormones, changed his name to Jean. He is living with a couple. He called me today, said he tried going to church, told me how unhappy & miserable living there, because his son is reaching out to this other man as a father figure. It grieves me to hear him struggling. I'm praying that God will intervene some way to open his eyes & save him. It broke my heart to see the confused look in my 5yr grandsons eyes, since his father now dresses as a woman. Any time i try to share my faith in God he is hostile toward it.
I wanted to thank you for your work with PFOX. Your website is support for me during those times I want to regress back into my homosexual past. I am in my late 20's and spent many year after college searching out my gay identify as many young men and woman do. I lived in LA for 3 years working at, what I am led to believe is, the most money making gay bar in the world. It was famous for all the "straight" people and celebrities who frequented it and also hosted many liberal politicians looking to cash in on the gay vote. I have since moved back to my home town to heal and piece my life back together. Though I still fall short in fully living out the plan God has prepared for me, I have hope that He will lead me home to Heaven with more peace and true joy on this earth, which I would have never had within the gay community or lifestyle.
I want to also offer any support or help you might need in this work of God. Unfortunately it can't be monetary at this time, but let me know none the less.
Thank you again and God Bless,
There's an old joke: "how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to really want to change." That is so true. People don't change unless they are committed to changing. Commitment isn't of itself sufficient to bring about the change. To change, it takes commitment, a plan, a turning of heart (repentance) and support. If any piece is missing, there won't be a successful, permanent change.
I believe that gays can change. I was twenty-three when I walked out. I am thirty years of age now and have never looked back. Well there were times when I struggled with same-sex desires. I often gave in to them during my early years. I was still young in my faith and we don't have such things as "Ex-Gay" ministries. There was no one to turn to but to God. He provided people to come my way. I met with ex-gays and we would encourage each other.
I would say that the gay lifestyle can never fully satisfy an empty heart. The sex, booze, orgies etc provide temporary satisfaction. It is never fulfilling. There will always be this void, an emptiness, a vacuum in my heart. I have tried filling it with everything I could but when the lights go off, the party ends etc it is still there.
But knowing Christ is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have met guys who still give me the looks but I always look the other way or at times I would walk up to them and rebuke them. It works for me.
My name is George and I used to be a Homosexual. There I said it. Did you know that most churches want to bury their heads in the sand and do nothing about it?
Preachers may preach against it, but that's about it. OK, I am not angry about all that, I just don't understand. You see, God saved me from myself over 3 years ago and I'm really excited about that. God has taken a homosexual with no identity, no love for myself and no direction and completely turned me around.
It all started In 1994 after 15 years of marriage "I gave up" and pursued a gay lifestyle. On November 7, 1994 I told my wife and two sons that I did not love them and that I was moving in with another man. February 1995 the divorce was complete and I was living my true life- Yipee! For the next 11 years I lived with the same man, but I was anything but faithful.
In 2006 "I gave up" again, but this time I turned to God. Here is what I know about myself today. I am a man of God. He loves me and He has forgiven me of all my sins. Guess what? I have forgiven me too. I am a blood bought saint of God. I love God with all my heart.
In October 2008 God spoke to me about a sign. Every time I drove past the place where I eventually had my sign made, God would speak to me. One day while I was sitting at my computer I ask God, "what the sign should read"? I had the sign made and for one week it set on my coffee table because I didn't want to do what God had ask me to do. However, on Thanksgiving day I was watching the parade when God spoke to me and ask if I would obey Him or not? With tear filled eyes, I said that I would do whatever He wants me to do. I immediately took the sign to my car and placed it on my back window. Every time I drive anywhere I am witnessing for the God who saved me. My sign reads: I used to be a homosexual, but GOD set me FREE!
I will do ALL I can to expose the truth. No one is born gay. God has ask me to tell folks about my journey. With Gods help you will be hearing me tell my story on TV and around the world. God is a BIG God!
It's ALL about God!
I have never felt as much prejudice and bias as a self-diagnosed “gay” man as I do now as an ex-“gay.” So us ex-“gays” need some protection too. So I think it should now be “LGBT&E”…Lesbian, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders and Ex-gays!
While I’m on my soapbox, I think the APA should hang Dante’s Inferno sign as you enter Hell on their door. “Abandon all hope ye who enter here.”
PS…the Lord is blessing me with a wife…I am engaged to be married to a beautiful woman. Need proof of a miracle? Talk to me!!!
Thanks for doing what you are doing. I chose to not pursue the gay lifestyle when I was 18 because I had chosen to become a Christian. Thought I would be celibate my entire life. Now happily married with 4 kids. There are hundred of thousands that have made similar choices or have completely left that lifestyle and do not speak out because of the fear of backlash from the gay and non-gay community.
God bless you guys!
How It Happened
During my seventh and eighth grade year, I was the girl athlete in the school, averaging 35 to 40 points a game. Basketball became my life; I ate, slept, and dreamed basketball. I can remember watching women’s basketball on TV and dreaming of become a college superstar. My rebellious heart wasn’t healed with the love of the game and I began going to parties, drinking, and flirting with sexual temptations. I had a few boyfriends but nothing ever serious like most of my best friends. I became envious of their feminine side, most of the guys looked at me like one of the guys because of my athletic abilities; I guess you can say I was a tomboy.
I was very empty inside, nothing was filling the hole in my heart; basket ball wasn’t doing it and friendships weren’t doing it. My eighth grade year I became very depressed, my home life was an absolute mess. Later in the year something just snapped, I was so tired of feeling empty and decided to end my life. I locked myself in the bathroom and downed a bottle of aspirin, the count was 500. My thoughts were if I can just fall asleep, things would go away. The Lord intervened that day, my mom found me and rushed me to the hospital. Praise God, they pumped my stomach and my life was spared. That very day my dad decided to move out and leave us. The rest of that year was total term moral. During the summer going into my ninth grade, God intervened and began restoring my parent’s marriage. My parents decided to get away from the city, the noise and start all over so we moved to a small town in East Texas. The decision my parents made was for our family’s best interest but my sisters and I were facing leaving all our friends and comfort. This move was very drastic of us; my parents didn’t have any money, and we didn’t know anyone in the town.
Starting High school was extremely hard for me, I had no idea how to fit in and what to expect. The one thing that I knew could go my way and get me accepted, was the game of basketball; I was really confident in my talent and abilities. I was coming from a large 5A school to a small 3A school; I figured I could show out and win my peers over. With my athletic abilities I was able to make friends quickly, most of them being the older grades; my talent landed me on the varsity team as a freshman.
My love for the game enticed me into making friends with a town hero, she played ball for a division one university. The decision to hang out with her and idolize her abilities landed me in a whole lifestyle that would later destroy my High School and young adult years. My sophomore year I was introduced to the lifestyle to homosexuality. My obsession for the game turned into an obsession for her and what I same day wanted to become, a college all-star. The enemy began filling my mind with thoughts that maybe I was born this way. All my past hurts and rejections I felt with boys were being used against me to convince me that I’m gay. I believe the unforgiveness in my heart towards my parents, and myself pushed me to believe a lie.
Do you have an ex-gay story to tell? Send to PFOX at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will include it in the next issue of For Us. Nothing is off limits. We will not judge you. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!