----- Original Message -----
From: "Ryan, Derrick K"
To:
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 1:11 PM
Regina,
As a gay teacher I am appalled by your organization. Remember, HOMOPHOBIA is the problem for gay-related issues, NOT being gay. I hope you take a long look in the mirror one day and realize that you have no scientific information to back up anything you do. I can't believe you would think a person can change their sexuality. Can a white person turn black? I don't think so. STAY OUT OF OUR SCHOOLS AND LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE!
Derrick K. Ryan
Spanish Teacher
Wootton High School
Spanish III Honors & IV
Co-sponsor: Gay-Straight Alliance & National Spanish Honor Society
Rockville, MD
www.mcps.k12.md.us
www.concordialanguagevillages.org
(summer language-learning program!)
"Without teachers,
no other profession would exist."
"Vivir para contarla"
-Márquez
From: "Ryan, Derrick K"
To:
Sent: Thursday, May 03, 2007 1:11 PM
Regina,
As a gay teacher I am appalled by your organization. Remember, HOMOPHOBIA is the problem for gay-related issues, NOT being gay. I hope you take a long look in the mirror one day and realize that you have no scientific information to back up anything you do. I can't believe you would think a person can change their sexuality. Can a white person turn black? I don't think so. STAY OUT OF OUR SCHOOLS AND LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE!
Derrick K. Ryan
Spanish Teacher
Wootton High School
Spanish III Honors & IV
Co-sponsor: Gay-Straight Alliance & National Spanish Honor Society
Rockville, MD
www.mcps.k12.md.us
www.concordialanguagevillages.org
(summer language-learning program!)
"Without teachers,
no other profession would exist."
"Vivir para contarla"
-Márquez
As a child, I wasn't brave enough to say what I really feel and made some statements that I wish I could take back - that kid in me again wanting to believe that everything
would be hunky dory if I could justify my parents' gay lifestyle.
I've found through my extensive web surfing on the issue that there
is one phrase repeated constantly when kids are asked about problems -
it's always the "homophobic society." Bet you most of them probably
couldn't explain what that means to them. It's these so-called
support groups telling them to have pride in their parents and anyone
who disagrees is a homophobe.
would be hunky dory if I could justify my parents' gay lifestyle.
I've found through my extensive web surfing on the issue that there
is one phrase repeated constantly when kids are asked about problems -
it's always the "homophobic society." Bet you most of them probably
couldn't explain what that means to them. It's these so-called
support groups telling them to have pride in their parents and anyone
who disagrees is a homophobe.
15/05: I have HIV
My name is Henry Smith. I am a former homosexual. I was gay for 35 years.
I have been HIV positive for 15 years.
During my transition out of homosexuality, I received lots of support from ex-gay organizations that help people like me with unwanted same sex attraction. Students should know ex-gays like me exist. We should not be excluded from the community or censored in schools. We are a loving people, tolerant of everyone. God loves both gays and ex-gays.
I wish I had known about alternatives to homosexuality when I was in high school. It might have made a difference in my life and things could have turned out differently. Students should have all options about homosexuality presented to them.
Educators and parents, please don't make the same mistake.
I have been HIV positive for 15 years.
During my transition out of homosexuality, I received lots of support from ex-gay organizations that help people like me with unwanted same sex attraction. Students should know ex-gays like me exist. We should not be excluded from the community or censored in schools. We are a loving people, tolerant of everyone. God loves both gays and ex-gays.
I wish I had known about alternatives to homosexuality when I was in high school. It might have made a difference in my life and things could have turned out differently. Students should have all options about homosexuality presented to them.
Educators and parents, please don't make the same mistake.
12/05: GID Children
For those of you who saw the Transgender program on 20/20 with Barbara Walters , I found it very interesting that she did show the APA's Diagnostic Statistical Manual Book with the discussion of the fact that transgender is a gender identity disorder (GID). She made reference to it being a disorder several times in the program. She even made the comment after the discussion of the 15 year old girl who was seen giving herself shots of testosterone that this drug could sterilize this child so she could never bear children in the future and other hormones could increase the risk for breast cancer.
It was sad though that all three parents only could placate their children's behavior because this made the children happy at this part of their young life [6, 10 and 15]. They dressed the boys as girls and the girl as a boy. There was no mention of former transgenders or an alternative way of treatment. The message was that all three children faced a future of unhappiness because of essentially trying to fit into an unrealistic lifestyle. However, It was obvious that the parents were wimps. They were only doing what was easy at that moment in time instead of confronting the situation. So the parents could only try to defend themselves by saying that they are "loving" their children and letting them be who they are (when they are not being who they are)!
--Rita
It was sad though that all three parents only could placate their children's behavior because this made the children happy at this part of their young life [6, 10 and 15]. They dressed the boys as girls and the girl as a boy. There was no mention of former transgenders or an alternative way of treatment. The message was that all three children faced a future of unhappiness because of essentially trying to fit into an unrealistic lifestyle. However, It was obvious that the parents were wimps. They were only doing what was easy at that moment in time instead of confronting the situation. So the parents could only try to defend themselves by saying that they are "loving" their children and letting them be who they are (when they are not being who they are)!
--Rita
12/05: COOL by R.E.R.
COOL stands for Coming Out Of Lesbianism. I would like to share with you my COOL story. First of all, Coming Out Of Lesbianism was the coolest choice I ever made. Second of all, Coming Out Of Lesbianism was the smartest choice I ever made. Third of all, Coming Out Of Lesbianism was the healthiest choice I ever made.
Notice that I have used the word 'choice' more than once. Deciding to act as a lesbian was a conscious decision I made. I knew that I really was not gay, but lesbianism seemed like it might be a cool role to play. I became enticed by homosexual images presented by the media. Being gay was
gaining popularity. Some of the hippest, artsy, theatrical, vegetarian young people were gay--just my crowd.
Notice that I have used the word 'choice' more than once. Deciding to act as a lesbian was a conscious decision I made. I knew that I really was not gay, but lesbianism seemed like it might be a cool role to play. I became enticed by homosexual images presented by the media. Being gay was
gaining popularity. Some of the hippest, artsy, theatrical, vegetarian young people were gay--just my crowd.
17/03: Wife of a Transexual
As the ex-wife of a transexual, who is convinced he was born a man with a woman's brain, I really appreciate what PFOX is doing. My ex-husband is living as a "fake" woman -- I'm sorry, but he is nothing but a fake woman and no matter what he cuts off or adds to his body will make him a woman. He does not feel (or want to feel) that change is possible. But I have meet people who want to and have changed so I know that change is possible. I also know that just because we want or "feel" something doesn't mean that gives us the right to take what we want or give into the feelings.
Yes, I have an ex-gay story too.
I am a man. I was born and raised in Fresno, California and just like everyone else, I was faced with daily challenges. I come from a family of five, three sisters and one brother, me being the oldest. We were a poor family that survived on welfare and lived in affordable housing. My mother and father separated before I was born, two years later after she gave birth to my sister, my mother met my stepfather.
Being young and from unstable homes my parents partied a lot, I remember the physical and verbal fights that took place, which has scared me till this day. My sister and I were left unattended many times and with strangers my parents trusted. On one occasion my mom’s youngest brother stayed home with me and my sister to watch us as she went to run errands, I was four years old when my uncle took me aside and asked me to pull my pants down and threatened me to never say a word, I didn’t until I was twelve and my mother would not believe me for years said that I was too young to remember any of this happening. Incest took place with an older cousin years later and went on for a time without any family members ever knowing.
The relationship between my mom and I was very close growing up and I saw her as a friend that I could tell anything to, unfortunately being the oldest I was also the shoulder she cried on regularly when my stepdad was abusive. So my relationship with my stepfather was very distant, although I tried to love him and wanted for him to stop being so cruel and just love me, hold me, tell me that I was somebody. I have always had a deep need for his approval and acceptance, never felt I got that as a child or early teenage years.
Junior and high schools were difficult for me in trying to find my identity, because at this time I knew that I was attracted to boys and had a longing to be comforted by them. Wasn’t long after when I engaged in my first sexual encounter by a much older man, I was intimidated and scared for my life, but from that point on the curiosity I had for being with men grew. Not much longer after this episode I fell into soliciting myself around a local adult bookstore, which was within walking distance from where I lived. This was also the first place I found acceptance from others that had the same desires to be with men.
I came out to my mom and stepdad when I was 17 years old, relieved by their reactions to not disown me. By this time the countless number of sexual hook ups was overwhelming, I enjoyed what I was doing, the free alcohol and drugs was fun, but I kept that part of my life a secret for years out of shame. March 27, 1998 was the day I will never forget, as I was taken into a room while under the influence of methamphetamine to be given results that I was HIV positive. The drugs then progressed, with me wanting to take my life and die but scared because I believed that I was now given the judgment to eternal life in hell, that God hates Fags. Many in and out of the church are still using this statement, which is very ignorant. After I recovered from this news I went straight back to a gay community of acceptance, clubs, social gatherings in the parks and streets. I was naive to think that it wouldn’t get worse. Four years later I was diagnosed with full blown AIDS, Hepatitis C and colon cancer.
I am a man. I was born and raised in Fresno, California and just like everyone else, I was faced with daily challenges. I come from a family of five, three sisters and one brother, me being the oldest. We were a poor family that survived on welfare and lived in affordable housing. My mother and father separated before I was born, two years later after she gave birth to my sister, my mother met my stepfather.
Being young and from unstable homes my parents partied a lot, I remember the physical and verbal fights that took place, which has scared me till this day. My sister and I were left unattended many times and with strangers my parents trusted. On one occasion my mom’s youngest brother stayed home with me and my sister to watch us as she went to run errands, I was four years old when my uncle took me aside and asked me to pull my pants down and threatened me to never say a word, I didn’t until I was twelve and my mother would not believe me for years said that I was too young to remember any of this happening. Incest took place with an older cousin years later and went on for a time without any family members ever knowing.
The relationship between my mom and I was very close growing up and I saw her as a friend that I could tell anything to, unfortunately being the oldest I was also the shoulder she cried on regularly when my stepdad was abusive. So my relationship with my stepfather was very distant, although I tried to love him and wanted for him to stop being so cruel and just love me, hold me, tell me that I was somebody. I have always had a deep need for his approval and acceptance, never felt I got that as a child or early teenage years.
Junior and high schools were difficult for me in trying to find my identity, because at this time I knew that I was attracted to boys and had a longing to be comforted by them. Wasn’t long after when I engaged in my first sexual encounter by a much older man, I was intimidated and scared for my life, but from that point on the curiosity I had for being with men grew. Not much longer after this episode I fell into soliciting myself around a local adult bookstore, which was within walking distance from where I lived. This was also the first place I found acceptance from others that had the same desires to be with men.
I came out to my mom and stepdad when I was 17 years old, relieved by their reactions to not disown me. By this time the countless number of sexual hook ups was overwhelming, I enjoyed what I was doing, the free alcohol and drugs was fun, but I kept that part of my life a secret for years out of shame. March 27, 1998 was the day I will never forget, as I was taken into a room while under the influence of methamphetamine to be given results that I was HIV positive. The drugs then progressed, with me wanting to take my life and die but scared because I believed that I was now given the judgment to eternal life in hell, that God hates Fags. Many in and out of the church are still using this statement, which is very ignorant. After I recovered from this news I went straight back to a gay community of acceptance, clubs, social gatherings in the parks and streets. I was naive to think that it wouldn’t get worse. Four years later I was diagnosed with full blown AIDS, Hepatitis C and colon cancer.
13/02: Sam's Ex-Gay Story
Sam's Ex-Gay Story
Well I was molested starting as a young boy from age 8 to 17...which sounds weird but what happened was that I became so afraid because the guy who did it was so much stronger and stern. All those years I did not tell anyone because I was afraid. I thought I could move on with life without facing the truth. Constantly hearing the words gay...fag...homosexual...queer...weirdo...ringing in my ears...I started to believe it...I wondered why God made me different and would allow this to happen to me.
Well I was molested starting as a young boy from age 8 to 17...which sounds weird but what happened was that I became so afraid because the guy who did it was so much stronger and stern. All those years I did not tell anyone because I was afraid. I thought I could move on with life without facing the truth. Constantly hearing the words gay...fag...homosexual...queer...weirdo...ringing in my ears...I started to believe it...I wondered why God made me different and would allow this to happen to me.
11/02: My Ex-Gay Story
Calling on all ex-gays to tell their stories!!
Email them to pfox@pfox.org
Let's start with Michael:
I will never forget this one time when dad took me to Kindergarten on his bicycle. It is my most
early memory of interaction with him (or lack thereof). He took me into his big strong arms and put
me on the ground and held my hand as we walked into the kindergarten together.
Then he just walked off.
I cried and was sent home because of the sadness/rejection I felt. Little did I know why poor dad
was so closed off emotionally. Back when my dad grew up, he never had so much as a hug from
his father, who only talked to him when he wanted to say something critical. He grew up feeling
like a sissy in front of the others because of some of the messages he received early in childhood, eg 'boys don't cry.'
Having learnt to be ashamed of expressing the emotional truth of his pain at having been denied
love and intimacy from an excessively critical father who placed value only on his son's ability to
have 'kids;' dad had children that he was not adequately prepared to raise properly. I just wanted him to hold me.
After the bike ride incident I think I instinctively recoiled away from dad in order to not feel the sting of what I perceived to be; being 'rejected' by him. As a consequence I think I drifted further and further away from my own masculine heritage, especially seeing as I was living with mum mostly; as they were divorced. I never felt like I belonged closely with dad.
When I hit puberty, I remember feeling absolutely terrified when I saw my friend's developing
genitals as we were using the urinal during sports. This now, to me, validates that I was drifting
further away and becoming increasingly alienated from my perceived 'rejecting' source of masculine identity (my dad); which recurred as the shock of seeing my friend in this way, even though boys going to the toilet together and even comparing each other's 'manhood' is supposed to be a normal thing, it was something I found intimidating at the time; I missed out on feeling comfortable enough with myself (and him) to be able to experience this potentially celebratory aspect of life.
Perhaps I just so badly wanted to feel safe enough to be able to talk 'brother to brother' about
our developing into 'adults' together, yet held back because, having drifted away from my masculine roots, It was almost as if inside a memory was triggered, as if I was being reminded that I had never felt a sense of belonging around dad (or other men), as if something must be 'wrong' with me. As a result my journey through physical development was mainly a lonely, scary affair. Seeing my friend like this I felt almost as if I was a girl being indecently exposed to a man.
This was also the beginning of that alienated feeling I had around my peers.
When I first started to feel very sad and alone in life, as a teenager, as though something were
missing; I did not know what to do so I went to a community counselor. Had I not gone there, the
then vulnerable me might not have been guided to the 'young and gay' group where I met the person who was to rape me under coercion.
Combined with the fact that he had refused to wear a condom, and that he was indeed very rough with me; he had also explained shortly after penetrating me, how he'd recently attempted suicide because of his certainty that he might very well have aids. I remembered how, after the incident just after leaving his house, I had briefly thought something like 'what if he did have aids?' I had then told myself that I was being 'unrealistic,' and immediately purchased some alcohol to 'blot out the memory' (kill some brain cells.)
Email them to pfox@pfox.org
Let's start with Michael:
I will never forget this one time when dad took me to Kindergarten on his bicycle. It is my most
early memory of interaction with him (or lack thereof). He took me into his big strong arms and put
me on the ground and held my hand as we walked into the kindergarten together.
Then he just walked off.
I cried and was sent home because of the sadness/rejection I felt. Little did I know why poor dad
was so closed off emotionally. Back when my dad grew up, he never had so much as a hug from
his father, who only talked to him when he wanted to say something critical. He grew up feeling
like a sissy in front of the others because of some of the messages he received early in childhood, eg 'boys don't cry.'
Having learnt to be ashamed of expressing the emotional truth of his pain at having been denied
love and intimacy from an excessively critical father who placed value only on his son's ability to
have 'kids;' dad had children that he was not adequately prepared to raise properly. I just wanted him to hold me.
After the bike ride incident I think I instinctively recoiled away from dad in order to not feel the sting of what I perceived to be; being 'rejected' by him. As a consequence I think I drifted further and further away from my own masculine heritage, especially seeing as I was living with mum mostly; as they were divorced. I never felt like I belonged closely with dad.
When I hit puberty, I remember feeling absolutely terrified when I saw my friend's developing
genitals as we were using the urinal during sports. This now, to me, validates that I was drifting
further away and becoming increasingly alienated from my perceived 'rejecting' source of masculine identity (my dad); which recurred as the shock of seeing my friend in this way, even though boys going to the toilet together and even comparing each other's 'manhood' is supposed to be a normal thing, it was something I found intimidating at the time; I missed out on feeling comfortable enough with myself (and him) to be able to experience this potentially celebratory aspect of life.
Perhaps I just so badly wanted to feel safe enough to be able to talk 'brother to brother' about
our developing into 'adults' together, yet held back because, having drifted away from my masculine roots, It was almost as if inside a memory was triggered, as if I was being reminded that I had never felt a sense of belonging around dad (or other men), as if something must be 'wrong' with me. As a result my journey through physical development was mainly a lonely, scary affair. Seeing my friend like this I felt almost as if I was a girl being indecently exposed to a man.
This was also the beginning of that alienated feeling I had around my peers.
When I first started to feel very sad and alone in life, as a teenager, as though something were
missing; I did not know what to do so I went to a community counselor. Had I not gone there, the
then vulnerable me might not have been guided to the 'young and gay' group where I met the person who was to rape me under coercion.
Combined with the fact that he had refused to wear a condom, and that he was indeed very rough with me; he had also explained shortly after penetrating me, how he'd recently attempted suicide because of his certainty that he might very well have aids. I remembered how, after the incident just after leaving his house, I had briefly thought something like 'what if he did have aids?' I had then told myself that I was being 'unrealistic,' and immediately purchased some alcohol to 'blot out the memory' (kill some brain cells.)
Press Release - February 7, 2007
CONTACT:
John Garza
301.706.5557
PARENT GROUP ASKS STATE TO HALT MONTGOMERY COUNTY’S
NEW SEX ED PROGRAM
MONTGOMERY COUNTY, MD – A grassroots organization of parents and concerned citizens has petitioned Maryland’s State Board of Education, asking it to reverse a recent decision of MC’s Board of Education to pilot a controversial sex ed curriculum in 6 schools at the 8th and 10th grade levels this spring. The curriculum was developed by the Montgomery County Public School staff which reports to the county’s BOE. The board approved the new curriculum on January 9th.
Citizens for a Responsible Curriculum is being joined in the petition by Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX), and Family Leader Network.
The request is the latest step in an ongoing dispute between CRC and the county’s BOE over the tone, scientific veracity, and extent of sex education in the county which began in 2005 when CRC and PFOX sued Montgomery County’s BOE in Federal Court. After a favorable ruling by Judge Alexander Williams, the Board withdrew the curriculum and started from scratch.
However, CRC is claiming the lessons still violate students’ Constitutional rights including freedom of speech and the right to exercise one’s religion freely. CRC is also claiming that they are in contradiction to Maryland’s Constitution, state laws and the county BOE’s own policies.
Specifically, CRC opposes lessons that assert homosexual behavior as natural and morally correct. The lessons demand universal affirmation by students of the gay lifestyle, even if it is contrary to their religious beliefs. Several parents have already come forward to claim that this would violate the religious beliefs of their family. This is especially troubling to CRC because it believes the school system seeks to be the chief arbiter of a student’s moral teachings. “This violates a student’s rights under the First Amendment to hold his or her own belief and even to express it,” according to John Garza, attorney for CRC. Parents fear that their child will be labeled “homophobic” for expressing a contrary point of view. “Not allowing other perspectives is viewpoint discrimination, which was one of the complaints in our 2005 suit,” he added.
He also points out an obvious contradiction in the school’s sex ed curriculum which teaches 8th and 10th graders that homosexuality is innate, even though there are no scientifically valid studies to back the claim up. Yet, the curriculums’ eighth grade lesson acknowledges: “sexual orientation results from an interaction of cognitive, environmental, and biological factors.” The petition cites the fact that there are no DNA or medical tests which determine a person’s orientation at birth.
In addition, the curriculum includes discussion of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, but excludes any information on ex-gays. “The BOE tells gays, lesbians and bisexuals that their sexual orientation is healthy and normal, while denying the existence of those who are ex-gay or attempting to overcome same-sex attractions, a clear case of “viewpoint discrimination,” which Judge Williams in the 2005 case criticized heavily,” according to Garza. He cites the fact that MCPS blocks student’s access to PFOX’s website on school computers as further proof of the Board’s bias against ex-gays and the extremes it will go to censor information which does not present a positive view of homosexuality. Ironically, the section on sexual orientation is entitled “Respect for Differences in Human Sexuality.”
CONTACT:
John Garza
301.706.5557
PARENT GROUP ASKS STATE TO HALT MONTGOMERY COUNTY’S
NEW SEX ED PROGRAM
MONTGOMERY COUNTY, MD – A grassroots organization of parents and concerned citizens has petitioned Maryland’s State Board of Education, asking it to reverse a recent decision of MC’s Board of Education to pilot a controversial sex ed curriculum in 6 schools at the 8th and 10th grade levels this spring. The curriculum was developed by the Montgomery County Public School staff which reports to the county’s BOE. The board approved the new curriculum on January 9th.
Citizens for a Responsible Curriculum is being joined in the petition by Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX), and Family Leader Network.
The request is the latest step in an ongoing dispute between CRC and the county’s BOE over the tone, scientific veracity, and extent of sex education in the county which began in 2005 when CRC and PFOX sued Montgomery County’s BOE in Federal Court. After a favorable ruling by Judge Alexander Williams, the Board withdrew the curriculum and started from scratch.
However, CRC is claiming the lessons still violate students’ Constitutional rights including freedom of speech and the right to exercise one’s religion freely. CRC is also claiming that they are in contradiction to Maryland’s Constitution, state laws and the county BOE’s own policies.
Specifically, CRC opposes lessons that assert homosexual behavior as natural and morally correct. The lessons demand universal affirmation by students of the gay lifestyle, even if it is contrary to their religious beliefs. Several parents have already come forward to claim that this would violate the religious beliefs of their family. This is especially troubling to CRC because it believes the school system seeks to be the chief arbiter of a student’s moral teachings. “This violates a student’s rights under the First Amendment to hold his or her own belief and even to express it,” according to John Garza, attorney for CRC. Parents fear that their child will be labeled “homophobic” for expressing a contrary point of view. “Not allowing other perspectives is viewpoint discrimination, which was one of the complaints in our 2005 suit,” he added.
He also points out an obvious contradiction in the school’s sex ed curriculum which teaches 8th and 10th graders that homosexuality is innate, even though there are no scientifically valid studies to back the claim up. Yet, the curriculums’ eighth grade lesson acknowledges: “sexual orientation results from an interaction of cognitive, environmental, and biological factors.” The petition cites the fact that there are no DNA or medical tests which determine a person’s orientation at birth.
In addition, the curriculum includes discussion of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgenders, but excludes any information on ex-gays. “The BOE tells gays, lesbians and bisexuals that their sexual orientation is healthy and normal, while denying the existence of those who are ex-gay or attempting to overcome same-sex attractions, a clear case of “viewpoint discrimination,” which Judge Williams in the 2005 case criticized heavily,” according to Garza. He cites the fact that MCPS blocks student’s access to PFOX’s website on school computers as further proof of the Board’s bias against ex-gays and the extremes it will go to censor information which does not present a positive view of homosexuality. Ironically, the section on sexual orientation is entitled “Respect for Differences in Human Sexuality.”
