Aren’t some people born gay?
We have all heard of individuals who entered homosexuality later in
life after marrying and having children with an opposite-sex spouse.
No scientific evidence has established a genetic cause for
homosexuality or found a “gay gene.” There is no DNA or
medical test to determine if a person is homosexual. Sexual
orientation is a matter of self-affirmation and public declaration.
“Gay” is a self-chosen identity. According to the American
Psychiatric Association, there are no replicated scientific studies
to support that people can be born “gay” or that homosexuality is
According to the
American Psychological Association, “[a]lthough
much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal,
developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual
orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to
conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular
factor or factors.” 
Who are ex-gays?
thousands of men and women with unwanted same-sex attractions make
the personal decision to leave homosexuality via secular therapy,
Homosexuals Anonymous support groups, faith based ministries, and
other non-judgmental environments. Their decision is one only
they can make. However, there are others in society who refuse
to respect individual self-determination. Consequently,
formerly gay men and women are reviled simply because they dare to
exist. Without PFOX, former homosexuals would have no voice in
an increasingly hostile environment.
Do gay activists oppose the efforts of PFOX to protect the equal
rights of ex-gays?
Although gay organizations advocate for the rights of homosexuals,
lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders, transsexuals, the intersexed,
and questioning youth, they do not add ‘ex-gay’ to that list.
Yet the addition of ex-gays ensures tolerance for all segments of
Many ex-gays are
afraid to come out of the closet because of the harassment they will
receive. The tactics of gay activists are to go after anyone
who comes out publicly as ex-gay, force them back into the closet,
and then claim that ex-gays don't exist because there aren't any out
in public. For example, see:
PFOX is not an
anti-gay organization – we are a pro-ex-gay organization. All
people should be treated with dignity. We respect the opinions
of others, even if they disagree with us. Indeed, we do not ask for
their approval – only their tolerance.
What is the ex-gay movement?
homosexuals are the last invisible minority group in America.
The ex-gay movement is a civil rights movement to ensure the safety
and inclusion of former homosexuals in all realms of society, and
supports the ex-gay community’s equal access to all public venues.
Ex-gays and their supporters should not have to be closeted for fear
of other’s negative reactions or disapproval. They do not
think something is wrong with them because they decided to fulfill
their heterosexual potential. Nor do they believe others
should condemn them for the personal decision they have made for
their lives. Full diversity must include the ex-gay community.
What are some of the discriminatory actions against ex-gays?
Due to media
indifference, many Americans are unaware of the widespread
intolerance practiced against those who leave homosexuality:
Unlike gay groups, ex-gay groups like PFOX are routinely denied
equal access to participate in public school events, donate
books to public school libraries, and present speakers on
Transgenders and cross-dressers are affirmed for changing their
gender but former homosexuals are ridiculed for making the
decision to change their sexual orientation.
Ex-gay conferences and seminars across the country are
frequently picketed by anti-ex-gay protestors like PFLAG, a
parents organization run by a gay activist, and Soulforce, a
homosexual religious organization.
Presidential candidate Barack Obama was criticized by gay
activists for allowing ex-gay gospel singer Donnie McClurkin to
sing at a fundraiser. They insisted that Obama drop the
African-American singer from the program. Gay singers did not
receive this treatment.
Washington DC Mayor Adrian Fenty was forced to apologize for
issuing a certificate of appreciation to an ex-gay civil rights
leader after receiving complaints from the gay lobby. In
signing gay marriage legislation for the nation’s capital, Fenty
had promised equality for all DC residents. http://pfox.org/Mayor_Fenty_wrongful_apology.html
Equality Virginia demanded that Washington DC Metro remove
PFOX’s subway billboards advocating tolerance for ex-gays.
An ex-gay volunteer staffing PFOX’s exhibit booth at the
Arlington County, Virginia Fair was physically assaulted because
he refused to recant his ex-gay testimony. Wayne Besen, a
former spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, falsely
reported that the assault had never occurred.
After speaking at an ex-gay conference, Michelle
McKinney-Hammond lost her programming on a broadcast station
because Besen made good on his threat to complain to the station
about speakers making appearances at ex-gay events.
Bash Back!, a gay group that retaliates against heterosexuals
who vote against genderless marriage, can be seen in this video
screaming and chanting against an ex-gay meeting held at a
Boston church -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llIOdgOZLF4&feature=related This
incident is cited in a federal complaint filed against Bash Back
for intimidation – see paragraph 68 of the legal filing at http://www.alliancedefensefund.org/UserDocs/MtHopeComplaint.pdf
writing a letter her local newspaper as a concerned citizen,
Crystal Dixon was terminated from her job as an Associate Vice
President of Human Resources for Toledo University. An
African-American, Dixon challenged the civil rights comparison
of race with homosexual behavior. Dixon’s letter also revealed
that some gay people have overcome unwanted homosexual feelings,
as evidenced by the growing popularity of PFOX and other ex-gay
This irrational phobia of those who have overcome unwanted same-sex
attractions perpetuates misunderstanding and harm against the ex-gay
community. It also demonstrates a disregard for diversity and
a refusal to respect a basic human right to dignity and
do gays hate ex-gays so much?
organizations instruct their members to reject ex-gays and
homosexuals who refuse to self-identify as "gay." This
rejection is a form of heterophobia that can be overcome with
education and outreach. Gay activists cannot claim sympathy as
victims when they victimize their own. We should all be
tolerant of each other regardless of our sexual orientation.
Homosexuality has multiple causes and people have experienced it
differently in their lives. If a gay person's sense of well-being
is dependent on all other people with same-sex attractions having
had the same experience that they did, then that person is in a
dangerous place. In fact, this is what has caused persecution
of ex-gays by gays themselves is a sad end to the long struggle for
tolerance by the gay community. That ex-gays and their
supporters are now oppressed by the same people who until recently
were victimized themselves, demonstrates how far the gay rights
movement has come. Indeed, a new chapter in the movement has
begun – the right of homosexuals and lesbians to leave unwanted
Why would anyone choose to leave homosexuality when there is so much
discrimination against the ex-gay community?
Because of the
abuse heaped upon them by society, former homosexuals experience
discrimination at every level. When
a former homosexual marries an opposite sex partner, that ex-gay is
ridiculed by former friends. Ex-gays find heterosexuals also
reject them if their past is known because "Once gay, always gay" is
assumed. While gays can come out of the "closet," ex-gays are
forced to stay in theirs because of public prejudice. While
gays gain sympathy as victims, ex-gays are criticized and face
life-long intolerance for simply existing as living proof that
homosexuality is not innate. Americans
need to face the real issue of bigotry -- oppression of ex-gays.
I’m happy being gay, so why should gays change their sexual
Change is only
for those with unwanted same-sex attractions. What makes you
happy may not make someone else happy because we are all
individuals. Please respect other people’s decisions for their
lives. Ex-gays can
testify to the fact that those with unwanted homosexuality deserve
the right to self-determination and happiness based on their own
needs, and not the needs of others. According
to the American Psychological Association, “[m]ental health
organizations call on their members to respect a person’s right to
Do I have to dislike ex-gays if I have gay friends or family?
No! You can
have friends who are gay and other friends who are ex-gay.
Befriending the ex-gay community does not mean that you are being
disloyal to the gay people you know and love.
What about gay teens and suicide that I’ve heard about?
that the risk of suicide decreases by 20% for each year that a
person delays homosexual or bisexual self-labeling. Suicide
attempts were not explained by experiences with discrimination,
violence, loss of friendship, or current personal attitudes towards
homosexuality. (Source: Risk
Factors for Attempted Suicide in Gay and Bisexual Youth byRemafedi,
Farrow, and Deisher, in Official
Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, Pediatrics 87:
869-875 June 1991.)
not encourage teens to self-identify as “gay” before they have
matured. During adolescence, sexual attractions are fluid and
do not take on permanence until early adulthood. Rather than
affirming teenagers as “gay” through self-labeling, educators should
affirm them as people worthy of respect and encourage teens to wait
until adulthood before making choices about their sexuality.
If teens are encouraged to believe that they are permanently “gay”
before they have had a chance to reach adulthood, their life choices
are severely restricted and can result in depression. Once a
child self-identifies as “gay,” he or she is stuck with that label
because gay activists and other heterophobic influences refuse to
acknowledge that an individual can leave homosexuality.
suicidal behavior are not normal responses to stress. Research also
shows that the risk for suicide is associated with changes in brain
chemicals called neurotransmitters, including serotonin.
Why should schools present ex-gay information?
address the issue of sexual orientation must present all of the
facts in a fair and balanced manner. According to Public
Schools and Sexual Orientation Consensus Guidelines, school
officials are urged to include the viewpoints of all participants,
including ex-gays and their supporters, in order to develop policies
that promote fairness for all. Actions by educators to exclude
some views merely because they disagree with them constitute
viewpoint discrimination in violation of the First Amendment.
Therefore, the ex-gay viewpoint in public schools is protected by
the First Amendment and should be heard. These guidelines are
endorsed by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN),
American Association of School Administrators, Association for
Supervision and Curriculum Development, and the First Amendment
Center. In addition, the National Educators Association (NEA) Ex-Gay
Educators Caucus endorses ex-gay equal access to schools.
How do sexual orientation laws and hate crime policies discriminate
subject to an increasingly hostile environment where they are
labeled as perpetrators of hate and discrimination against
homosexuals simply because they advocate for or live out a different
view of homosexuality.
have created an environment where anyone who does not accept
homosexuality as equivalent to heterosexuality in every way is
labeled a “bigot” whose attitude equates to racism.
Consequently, alternatives to homosexuality are interpreted as
harassment “against” gays. Sexual orientation
non-discrimination laws and hate crime policies are used to silence
the ex-gay community and legitimize intolerance against former
homosexuals. Fighting “hate” and “discrimination” against gays
has become a euphemism for attacks against ex-gays and their
supporters. For example:
Davis Ott of Madison, Wisconsin was charged with a hate crime
because he stated his own experience as a former homosexual.
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Educational Network (GLSEN)
distributed a booklet to every public school superintendent
accusing former homosexuals of “harassment” because ex-gay
groups want the same access to public schools that gay groups
Cornelius Baker, executive director of the Whitman Walker AIDS
clinic, labeled ex-gays as “political extremists” who “tortured
and brainwashed” teens, although he endorses gay outreach to
After receiving “threats, insults and brutal letters” for
running an advertisement for an ex-gay book, Psychology Today
editor Bob Epstein acknowledged the “dark, intolerant, abusive
side of the gay community.”
Orlando Commissioner Patty Sheehan denounced her fellow
commissioner for issuing a proclamation honoring an ex-gay
organization even though she herself freely makes proclamations
celebrating “Gay Days” every year at Disney World. Ms. Sheehan,
an open lesbian, went so far as to compare the ex-gay
organization to the KKK, thereby demeaning African-American
Former Human Rights Campaign spokesperson Wayne Besen demanded
that New Jersey Family First fire employee Greg Quinlan because
he spoke about overcoming his homosexuality in a radio interview
and the fact that there is no DNA for homosexual behavior.
men and women, as well as their friends and family, feel threatened
because they are subjected to a hostile environment if they publicly
claim their former homosexuality or support of the ex-gay community.
Courageous men and women who have left their gay identity must not
be denied their Constitutional rights. To give sexual
orientation protection to one group while excluding another is
Why must ex-gays be included in sexual orientation topics?
Ex-gays must be
included in the formation of public policy because we have much to
contribute to the understanding of sexual orientation. Without
testimony from all sectors of society, public policy on this issue
is seriously flawed.
What is PFOX?
Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) is a national non-profit
organization that supports families and educates the public on
sexual orientation & the ex-gay community. PFOX’s statement of
principles is found at www.pathinfo.org
PFOX supports an
inclusive environment for the ex-gay community, and works to
eliminate negative perceptions and discrimination against former
homosexuals. PFOX conducts public education and outreach to
further individual self-determination and respect for all Americans,
regardless of their sexual orientation. Please join us in our
journey for truth, tolerance, and understanding.
Who are PFOX families?
love their homosexual child unconditionally. Unlike
other organizations which insist that parental love is conditional
on affirming homosexual behavior, there are no conditions on our
love for our children. We do not have to approve of everything
our children do. Blanket approval is not responsible parenting
or love. True love is loving in spite of our differences and
treating each other with kindness and respect.