What Keeps Us Silent?
By Jeffrey Johnson
I believe it is imperative that we proclaim the truth of healing from homosexuality in the secular arena. What are some of the reasons we (as ex-gays) remain silent? For some of us it’s fear. What will they think of me? What if they laugh at my story? How will the media portray me? What if they don’t believe me? Am I healed enough? How will this affect my family?
Besides fear, I think a lot of what motivated me was shame. I was ashamed of my brokenness and sin. I’d worked so hard to fit into the church and into the world of men – and now I have to go broadcast my struggles?
Not just shame, but pride is involved here. My pride did not want to admit to others that I had this struggle. But it has led me to testify before committees of the Maryland General Assembly; to tell my story to congressional staffers at the U.S. Capitol; to protest at the American Psychiatric Convention; and to have my story recounted in a two-page spread in The Baltimore Sun. So much for living a “normal, quiet life.” To be honest, I did not go looking for these opportunities, but I chose to say yes when they came my way. Each time I tell my story, I strike another blow at fear, shame, and pride.
A final matter that keeps some of us silent is feeling overwhelmed. What can I do to take on the whole culture? Thankfully, I’m not responsible for all that. But I can do small things: writing a letter to the editor, calling an irresponsible television network, and speaking out at work when others denigrate healing.
I could write a whole column about this, or even a book, but suffice it is to say that all the evidence here is on our side. At every level – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – homosexual behavior is destructive. Speaking the truth about homosexuality literally saves lives.
Not everyone is called or gifted at working in the media or in politics, not all of us are called to full-time ministry, but more of us must speak up about this issue. I believe God is calling more of us to get out and tell our stories, to tell what we know about the destructiveness of homosexual behavior and about God’s redemption – how God changed us.
More strugglers, more parents, more family members. All of us are called to engage in the world around us, speaking the truth in love to a hurting world. There is no one better for this job. If not us, then whom?